Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise want people to kill themselves
i'm sure that at least 1,367 people flung themselves from a bridge upon hearing news of katie holmes being pregnant with tom cruises baby. surely it is the first sign of the apocolypse.
i called a female friend of mine and gave her the news and all i heard next was the sound of the phone dropping and that of maybe her head bashing on a wall. or maybe she was trying to bounce a cantelope - i don't know.
the end is near.