Wednesday, November 29, 2006

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Britney Spears finally bought a clue with all her fafillion dollars and divorced her walking, redneck, very fertile, leech of a husband. Now she's done gone lost her mind and is partying her (very visible) ass (and clean shaven poon) off with the likes of Paris and Lindsay. Hey, maybe we'd all be going nucking futs too if we were in her shoes...

Oh Kevin - was once the luckiest bastard ... no he's just, well, you know. Come on man, you could have had it MADE!! Platter, trophy, HELLO!! Maybe Shar wants to dance with a pimp again.

But no good deed goes undone; unfortunately America's famed Jilary, comprised of Joel Madden and Hilary Duff, are kaputt. They're claiming the 8 year age difference as the major cause and you know, I'm sure it's true. As much fun as I make of Joel and his band, I am sorry for his loss. Hilary too of course.

Alright Mel, you get him, I got her.

Who else... ah yes, Reese and Ryan. I love Reese, ever since Freeway I've loved her; but like the urinal at RFD reads, 'no matter how hot she is, someone is tired of fucking her'. Unfortch, this might be Ryan's predicament.

And whodathunk? Pam Anderson and Kid Rock, married in four ceremonies are divorcing after four months. I'm glad that since Pam has a vagina and Kid has a penis that they were allowed not one, not two, but FOUR ceremonies.