ok, so remember how much pussy jack osbourne got even though he was a fat ugly child just because he's jack osbourne? well, imagine
the pussy to come (no pun intended) now that he woke up one day and became hot
. sometime after his rehab stint, he decided to sign up for rock climbing or tai chai kee kung fu los kick-kick fighting or something
and on top of 2 weeks worth of daily colonics (or something) he worked out rigorously. apparently he's given up on booze, drugs, and cigarettes. here he is folks.
man - what a kick in the face. now i just feel even more useless and fat.
moving on - let me briefly talk about one thing i am interested to see come out of Brangelina. yep - i'm talking about it. i vehemetly denied it was true for months
; brad is a golden child to me, how could he do me wrong? i denied it when the pictures of them in english countryside were all over the news. i denied it until brad called me up and said, "listen friend, i'm banging the hottest female on earth, could you at least be happy for me?" so here i am, admitting what's right in front of all of our faces (sorry jennifer - go team aniston!). anyway, about the Brangelina thing; let's talk about brad's significant ex's:
what do these women have in common, besides bedding brad pitt? well - they've all been featured in melissa etheridge videos, my friends. not sure what kind of swapping goes on between brad and melissa, but at the very least, his ladies do videos [snicker]. juliette's schizophrenic portrayl in "come to my window", gwyneth's hysterical and hreatbroken portrayal in "i want to come over" and jennifer's coy, girl-chatty-up gig in "i want to be in love". so clearly, next up in a melissa video is angelina.
my advice - tammy lynn, be present at all times. i love angelina just as much as the rest, if not more, but i would not trust that woman around my significant other. not only because i know my SO would jump angelina's bones without hesitation, but i don't think angelina would resist.